Running around like a chicken with my. . .

Wow, what a week. So this teaching thing has me running around crazy. It seems that my twenty-ish years of experience are in demand. I have an interview with one of the local community colleges next week. The primary instructors heard of my interest and are prodding the head of the department to pick me up asap. So, I have spent the week tracking down past certificates, transcripts, and licenses. Today I spent a good three hours putting together a new resume'. I forgot what a bitch it can be to format a Word Document. So it appears that while in my current state of chaos, the world has continued to move along without me.

Here are some of the things that I did not have the time to comment on.

Olympic Protesters:
I get it. I agree. It's not going to work. China; like most first world economy's, is fueled by money. Stop the shouting and just quit buying crap from them. No more Yo-Yos, disposable bamboo chop sticks, or glow in the dark titty lighters. Better yet, boycott WalMart.

Obama and the comment:
Face it "those people" also don't have a sense of humor.

Gas prices: I have a hybrid and I'm still spending 40+ bucks a week. WTF!!!!

Car Horns: People!!!! Your car horn was not designed to tell your friends that your out in front of their house. Get your lazy fucking ass out of the car and knock on the door.

Food prices: Again, WTF!!!! When I was a kid the average full shopping cart was about $50. The last three trips I took to the grocery store a full cart is averaging $225. AAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Chad Johnson: Cincinnati doesn't deserve you. Come to Chicago. We'll take good care of you.

Taxes: First of all let me point out that the Alternative Minimum Tax fucked me AGAIN!!! Tax day just passed. That evening I had a chance to watch a bit of the nightly news. Why the fuck do people wait until the very last possible minute to drop their shit in the mail? I guarantee those same slow fuckers are probably pacing like a caged lion waiting for their economic stimulus check! I hope Uncle Sam waits until the last god damn minute to send there shit back to them!!!

The Popes Red Shoes: Lets put it this way. He knows a lot of Broadway show tunes as well.

Ohhh Canada....Pt.1.

Yikes, don't tell me you all turned Catholic? Anyway, how are all of you? This end you ask,....Status Quo.

• Mrs. Titus:....still sick
• Grandma:....doing better and wanted to try living on her own again.
• Neck:...still fucked up. Disability rating jumped from 7% to 17%.
• Local commercial development in neighborhood:....moving ahead, maybe some of my property value will recover after all.
• The "Branch":....still sucks. Looking for a tie dyed "Barack Obama 08" shirt for casual Friday. I figure hell, why not stir up the hornets nest.
• The ex:....child support went from $400 to $1500 per month.
• Mrs. Titus:.... finally decided to move forward with a career change. She was accepted to school and will start in May.

So....Mrs. Titus and I have been discussing retirement for the last several years. As it stands, I can retire in just over nine years. Considering how my neck has deteriorated in the last three years, the reality is that I may only last another three to five. The kids are almost grown and should be on their own in two years. We have planned to look for property in the pacific North West. If we are able to unload some of our California assets in the next two years, our relocation time line may move quicker than expected. I've been in the California Bay Area my whole life. Frankly, I'm sick of it! One plan we are researching would have us relocate north of the border :>). With Mrs. Titus having a new career (and the old one to fall back on for side work) and my retirement....we should be able to live well.

More to follow....
Jake

Shock and. . . . .Awe Shit!!!

It's been five years. As you can imagine my new co-workers hold a much different opinion of this war than I do.

Which is really kind of funny when I think about it. I am the only liberal at the new "Branch". I am the only individual opposed to this whole fucking fiasco. But when we were all younger and. . .

They were doing this. . .

I was doing this.

It's so ironic that many of the folks that are pro-war, never wore a uniform in defense of this country. Although they would never admit it, they feel that kids from here should fight this war.

Not kids from here.

Five years ago under, the false guise of weapons of mass destruction, he led us into a terrible conflict that the world may never recover from. He talked of the tyrant that oppressed, maimed, and killed his people. But even removing him from power hasn't ended the conflict.

Was it really about him?

Was it really about these?

No, I think it was about this. . .

So folks, if you really care about this country, our troops, and being true patriots then quit driving these. . .

Which will reduce your need to go here. . .

And maybe, just maybe. . .

Well all get to see more of this.


PEACE!!!

This is not good!!!

Welcome to my little version of HELL. So a few days ago I posted about my unwanted move to a new "Branch" at the "Company." I used words like "optimism" and "positive" to describe how I was choosing to handle it. Well, fuck that!!! I have two new co-workers. They are Bucky and Gordo. To be kind I'll just say "they think differently than I do".

So my first warning as to what was in store for me at the new diggs came in the parking lot. There were big trucks sporting large latex bull testicles at the trailer hitch. I can only imagine why they have gun racks. Both trucks had empty Budweiser cans in the bed. Somehow I don't see these guys as being big recyclers.
Most everyone at the "Company" arrives about twenty minutes early to chat, read the paper, have coffee, watch the news, etc. . . I kid you not, they BOTH had G.W.B coffee cups!!!!! AAAGGGHHHHHH please kill me now!!!!!!!
So, while we're having coffee in the break room, this is on the television. ENOUGH SAID!!!!!!
In the can (men's room), there were two magazines. Bowhunter and the NRA monthly. With names like Gordo and Bucky what can you expect. The gun racks in the trucks are starting to make sense at this point.

I wish I could get a shot of the photo Bucky has on his desk. It's similar to this one accept they are in the rose garden at the White House. The message at the bottom thanks him for his support. I am in fucking deep shit!!! Who the hell did I piss off? Maybe it was that letter I sent to then "Texas Governor" Bush asking why Tom Landry was a hero and two dead Houston firefighters were not.
This is my hell!

(p.s. aren't the Morans all living in Utah hanging out with their wives?)

Please send good vibes my way. . .

Jake

Good Job!!!

"Yes, my dick is this big."

What the hell was Eliot Spitzer thinking?

Well, OK. . .I know what he was thinking. . .

I imagine their first meeting went something like this. . .

Spitzer: Your very beautiful, what's your name?

Dupre: Alexandra

Spitzer: Well Alexandra, would you have sex with me for say. . . .a million dollars?

Dupre: Well of course I would.

Spitzer: Great, let's go! (handing her a $5.00 spot)

Dupre: What's this? (taking said $5.00 spot)

Spitzer: I'm paying you to have sex with me.

Dupre: Five dollars, what kind of girl do you think I am?

Spitzer: Well I think that we have already determined that, now we're just negotiating the price.

I mean really, $4000?????? Dude, you're an idiot. And to drag your poor wife up to the podium for your little "press conference." WEEAAKKK. I have all the sympathies for your family. Hell, I don't even blame Ms. Dupre' for all of this B.S. The folks in New Jersey are much better off. If it turns out that you paying for your little sex-capades out of the state coffers, they should lock you up!

Sorry if this is a little harsh. But with the current condition of our country and the economy, leaders should be held to a higher standard. Homes are foreclosing at an alarming rate and this guys is buying $4k poon. WTF!!! Hey dickwad! Does "glass houses and stones" ring a bell?

You Go Barack!!!

I saw this last night and it cracked me up!!!

Breathe Jake, Breathe.

I have a million ideas and thoughts spinning around inside my head right now. I'm thinking about so much stuff that it's hard to concentrate. It feels like there are huge speakers on each side of my head. Each one is blasting random shit at 800 decibels.

It's amazing that even with everything I have on my plate and my mind, I have nothing to really write about. I've combed the news, read lists of posting ideas, and lurked around others blogs for a good part of the day. It hasn't helped.

I wanted to write about Brett Favre, Patrick Swayze, and John Ritter but honestly I don't have it in me at the moment.

Each day I grow more frustrated and angry with how bad the economy is. Peoples lives are falling apart and we have a fuckstick in office that didn't know gas will soon cost $4.00 a gallon.

The elderly; many of whom don't understand how a calculator or computer works, are expected to navigate their way through our broken medical system. The new medicare drugs program is so confusing and ineffective it should be tossed out (along with Bush-fuck)

This week there have been multiple incidents around the country where young college women have been brutally murdered. Bombs are exploding in time square. We are still fighting a war for no apparent reason. People are dying!!!! What the fuck is going on?

I wanted to choke this fucking bitch that works at the local grocery store. I hate being in her line and will usually avoid it. Yesterday she was tending the 10 items or less line and I was in a hurry. She always has this phony plastic I'm better than you smile on her fucking face. It makes me want to punch her. She also wears this gold cross necklace outside her top/shirt/sweater for everyone to see. So, I'm in her line at the counter. Outside there is a homeless person with a cardboard sign asking for help. Any compassion from cunt face? Hell friggen no. She says "what a loser. He's probably on drugs you know? He should go get a job!" Now if you have read my previous post (http://jaketitus.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-bad.html) you know how I feel about this. With this economy wouldn't it be fitting to see her heartless ass out there, next week, asking for a small amount of kindness or understanding from someone?

Jake

Pimping Chelsea; Holy Fuck!!!

I'm sorry, but what the fuck is going on? I'm a fairly smart guy but am humble enough to know that even at forty; I have a lot to learn. So with all of the recent (and not so recent) quirky shit going on in presidential politics, I decided to do some goggling. The last election it was the Electoral College and hanging chads. Now they come out with this "superdelegate" bullshit. Basically they are extra/super votes that can trump our regular measly lowly common shit votes. These are votes for hire. Call them ballot box mercenaries. So you would figure that these "superdelegates" are ancient all knowing wise political gurus. Not the case. I have and will continue to vote in every election. I may be blindly oblivious to the intricacies of politics, but WTF!!!!!

http://sweetness-light.com/archive/chelseas-dream-date-with-a-superdelegate

Jake