"I've Got The Runs"

Why do I do it to myself? I really think that I am nuts sometimes. So I decided to get back into running.

You see, a few years ago I got a wild hair up my ass and started to train for a triathlon. I trained and trained. Several months went by and I stuck with it. I was doing well, or so I thought. One day I started have pain in my hip while running. If I slowed to a walk the pain went away. If I picked the pace back up, the pain returned. I spoke with friends who are insane runners (marathons and centuries). They all said the same thing. "You are over training, slow down". I followed the advise given. That became my down fall.

You see, I am a bit of an extremist. I do nothing "halfway." If I take interest or liking to something, I immerse myself in the subject or activity. So, as you can imagine, I went from future Ironman superstar to Jaba the Hut Jr.....in just a matter of weeks.

What made my conversion back to a slug so easy, was the wife. Mrs Titus would often mock me when I trained. I'm not a spastic runner or anything, it just makes her laugh. She thinks running is a completely silly waste of time. You see, Mrs. T hates to run. She fucking "HATES IT"! She hates it more than when I leave dishes in the sink or my socks under the coffee table. So when I returned to my NFL command post (the recliner), she made no bones about it.

On Friday she drops this insane bit of news on me. "Jake, I signed up for the Bay to Breakers 10k. It's in two weeks." WTF!!! "Honey"; I said, "You despise running!" She echoed the same sentiment in her reply. She went on to explain that she didn't have the slightest clue what possessed her to sign up, other than "It looked fun." Again, WTF? So now, back to my moment of insanity. Her actions have motivated me to train again. This time I am starting off a bit slower with more reasonable goals. I am going to run in a 5k by mid-June. That is my goal. I'll keep you posted. Holy shit, what the fuck am I doing?

Jake

Lets Get Ready To Rummmmbbllleeee!!!

Most of you have figured out by now that I am not a church going guy. I have a natural tendency to avoid church at any expense. This morning on my way to work, something occurred that made me reconsider my lack of "churchly"involvement

My morning commute was like all others prior. Frankly it was boring and uneventful. That was until I saw this sign in front of the Wayside United Methodist Church. At first I couldn't believe what I had read. I nearly locked up the breaks on my powder blue shit box commuter. I quickly flipped a u-turn and discovered that I had in fact read the sign correctly.

Let me begin by singing accolades to the Reverend Johnson. You my friend are a marketing genius. I actually began counting on my fingers to see if I could fit in the early mass during football season.

The stop and photo-op had me running late. I hopped in the shit box and headed to work. Now, the remainder of my commute had my mind really processing this holy rolling wrestling league. And it occurred to me that this could be fucking anything. My attendance could vary greatly depending on what kind of fist-o-cuffs was taking place.

Hell, I'd stay home and watch the fishing channel if this is whats going on.

This might get me there for a week. . . . maybe two if they had beer.

Now this would be cool. I'd give up any Raiders game to see this!!! This is fucking Hilarious!!!

O.K. getting better. No beer required. I'd make it every week that the Bears play in the afternoon.

Fuck football. I have TIVO!!! "Honey have you seen my Bible?"