Sunday, February 17, 2008

Yes, I'll have the shlongworst well done please.

At work we made sausage and kraut for dinner. Is it just me, or does it look like Lorena Bobbitt did the cooking? This is the one that found it's way to my plate. "Holy shit Dickman" I can't eat that! What the fuck was I supposed to do? I covered it with kraut and choked the bastard down. Wait, that didn't sound right...

9 Beer Farts:

Tyler Durden said...

Sweet tea for me thank you. And you honey? She'll have a diet coke.

She'll have the grilled cordon bleu. Oh, it comes with a salad? Raspberry vinaigrette honey? Yes, Raspberry vinaigrette please. Thank you. Excellent.
For me could I please have an order of hard human penis? Yes... medium well. No.... hold the balls. No balls.

No need for utensils either, thank you. I am going to try to jam it down my throat. Is there anyone CPR Qualified in this establishment in case I choke on the dead cock? Yes? Great. Excellent. Thank you.

Can we also have the appetizer first? Thank you.

hmmmm..... cock. My favorite.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh yeah baby....spread a little mayonnaise on that baby...mmmm....take it all...

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

I'm guessing/hoping you didn't find any "hairs" in the meal.

Jake Titus said...

Tyler: quite an extensive order, i'll send it to the cook. I expect a Big Tip.

Fab: I don't just give up the mayo. You have to put a little work into it. Be patient, you'll get your mayo.

H&C: No, I think John Bobbit manscaped before he pissed off the ole'lady.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

That looks like a double headed dilly. I would have ate it from each end with a friend. mmmmmmmmmm.

Jake Titus said...

I took the easy way out. I started in the middle and worked my way out from there. What can I say, I pussed out.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

That's quite a wiener. Does it have a creamy filling?

The Bizza said...

Dude... You really ate that?

And why do I feel like giving you three snaps in "Z" formation? (from an "In Living Color" skit)

Seriously, what a bizzare looking meal! You know, there are never any vaginal-shape meals. Frankly, I feel kinda cheated, ya know?

Jake Titus said...

Vagina shaped food, nice idea. Two problems though, 1: I'd never leave the table and 2: I'd eat way to much.