Sunday, February 10, 2008

Random Observations

I'm back. In a previous post "I broke myself", I discussed my jaw. Well, it happened again on Superbowl Sunday. This time, a trip to the dentist was required. The diagnosis "a charley horse to my face"! I'm not shitting! Apparently I had a cramp to the facial muscles on the left side of my face that was so severe, it pulled my jaw to the side dislocating it. So, since last Sunday it's been soft food and Valium. But as I said, I'm back now. So while I was off recovering, I made a few random observations.

1. Hot dogs are just bologna shaped like a dick.

2. Who thought up the word yogurt? It sounds like something I cough up when I have bronchitis.

3. Why do some (grown) women adorn the rear widow area of there car with stuffed animals. Do they fear covering up the Cinderella bed spread that they have at home? Please, grow up.

4. Turn signals come standard on every car sold in America. To the asshole that turned into Starbucks this morning, please remember that. And by the way "fuck you". Don't honk at me, you were in the wrong.

5. Where is it? A very bright friend of mine always seems to end our debates (disagreements) with "well that’s neither here nor there!" Well then smart guy, where the fuck is it?

Jake

2 Beer Farts:

Tyler Durden said...

Diazepam! I drink to that! with a nice glass of pineapple juice and rum and a side of Clonazepam.

I <3 psychoactive drugs

I am trying to quit though. Alcohol only when my prescriptions run out.

Jake Titus said...

Cut the mixer!!! (fewer calories)