Thursday, February 14, 2008

Learn From My Mistake

Guys, let me save you some future grief. Every woman out there wants a "blue box" for valentines. Ladies, I know you agree with that statement. You can't bullshit me. Some of you guys are asking "Jake, what's a blue box?" Well let me tell you, It's the beginning of you being a "broke son of a bitch", that's what it is!!! Tiffany Jewelers is killing me. Now don't get me wrong, every woman deserves something from Tiffany at some point in their life. But here is where I fucked up. I bought the "blue box" at like year. . . . . . .two. It's now the standard and there's no going back. If I came home now and said "honey I got you this nice diamond heart pendant from Zales. I love you, Happy Valentines Day". She would kick me square in the nuts. I wouldn't even get the chance to give her the free kissing bears that came with it. My balls would be up somewhere near my diaphragm. So guys temper the urge to over gift prematurely. Start with a Halmark card and work your way up (slowly) from there. Besides, it's not even a real fucking holiday. When I get to stay home from work on 2/14, then I'll celebrate. Happy V-day. . .

Jake

3 Beer Farts:

Tyler Durden said...

Good advise! I never went past chocolates and flowers. Maybe that's where I am screwing up huh...

The Ex said...

Pfft. Honestly I would have been so happy if I got a CARD for Valentine's Day. What did he say? I didn't know it was important to you. Idiot.

Jake Titus said...

Tyler: Logical and sane progression is my advise. Staying in one spot too long is just as bad as sprinting for the finish line too quickly.

Ex: Actions speak louder than words. For christ sake, you can buy flowers on any street corner of any city on valentines day. Sorry, he's a knuckle head.