Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Life Is a Circus.

I find it amazing the weird shit that happens around me. I find this to be especially true when I don't have anything to write about. That is what has happened to me the last few days. First it was dudes in Speedo's and now this. Now I don't know if this stuff is always going on and I'm just oblivious to it. Or, is there some all seeing blog god that is throwing some creative scraps my way.

The following occurred this morning on my way to pray to the coffee gods at the alter of Starbucks. It took less than three minutes.

About five minutes from my house I was approaching the second of three stop lights. Out of the corner of my eye I see a man in a wheel chair on the sidewalk. Normally this wouldn't faze the majority of us. Except in this case the old guy was wearing a complete confederate solider uniform and smoking one of those long hook shaped pipes. "Huh, that's weird" I said out loud to myself. When I stop at the light, I see on the corner, a midget guy (I know. . .little person) holding hands with a fat lady. "WTF? Am I jones-en for coffee or what?" *green arrow* I proceed to make a left turn. Not fifty yards after my turn I see an old Chinese guy sitting cross legged on the side walk. "Holy fucking shit. . .the high school nurse wasn't fucking around when she told us about acid flashbacks happening years later!!!"


I spent the rest of the morning looking for pink elephants and monkeys riding dogs like rodeo horses. Which would have been fucking cool. Because frankly, anything involving monkeys is fucking hilarious!!!

10 Beer Farts:

about jenji said...

I think I may know that monkey, but I can't be sure, it was a pretty wild night.


jenji

Jake Titus said...

Yeah, him and I used to hang out. But when he drinks to much he starts rambling on about doggie style and lasting more than 8 seconds. Had to distance myself, just got to weird.

C said...

What are you smoking? Can I have some?

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Seriously, was the circus really in town?

Windyridge said...

Ok that's pretty Twilight Zoneish!

Jeff said...

Hey, what did you expect... your "About Me" clearly states you're from "Distorted Reality, California." I expect to read these kinds of things when I come here.

Jake Titus said...

C: Which I could say 420 but I can't. Maybe I've just lost my mind.

Cherry: Only in my mind Cherry, only in my mind...

Windy: Maybe I should have looked out the side windows of the shit box to look for gremlins.

Jeff: Holy shit, your right!!! Maybe all my marbles are just flat on one side!!!

Mr. Fabulous said...

I've been to that Starbucks.

The UnMighty said...

Monkeys are hilarious. Unless they have AIDS. That's just so sad. What kind of sick bastard would give a monkey AIDS?

Jake Titus said...

Fab: I know, I've seen you there. Hey wasn't that you that swiped the tip box on Monday?

Unmighty: What can I say? The little bastards are OUT OF CONTROL! If they would just quit dancing with Mr. Brownstone and wrap the raskel, we just might beat this thing.