Thursday, January 24, 2008

Misc. . . Thanks

Some time ago I listen to an interview of a musician. I don’t recall who it was, but I do remember one particular question. The interviewer asked the artist about the meaning of a particular song. The song writer would not answer the question as the interviewer had hoped, but rather gave the following explanation.

“It is not up to me to determine what this song is about or what it means. That is really up to the person that is listening to my music. I would be doing a greater disservice to my fans if I told them what this music should mean to them. It is their music, not mine; I mean really. If you want to know what was going on in my life when I wrote this, well that’s a different question all together.”

I have grown to appreciate this. Through out my life, music has been very important to me. Being an introvert as a child, music became an escape from a lot of the bad things going on around me. Music has meant different things to me at different stages in my life. Tonight I was on the treadmill in the gym and I had my ipod on. Now I have heard the song Gimme Shelter by the Stones hundreds and hundreds of times. Tonight though, a particular line struck a chord with me unlike any other time in the past.

“Oh, a storm is threat'ning

My very life today

If I don't get some shelter

Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away”

In the past I always thought of this song as some impassioned anti-war song. But tonight, these four lines took on a whole new meaning. I found myself relating the lyrics to how I feel in my life today. Emotionally, right now, there is a storm raging above me that seems to have no end. Shelter, closure, healing. . . I need something to make this hole in the middle of “me” disappear. For the future “me” to be the best I can, I need this. So Mick thanks for the song.

Music hasn’t been my only escape in life. Books, stories, movies, all are great means of escape. A couple chapters a night or a 100 minute flick have become great therapy. On a side note, lately I enjoy hearing great stories of other people parents/childhood. I guess my demented mind enjoys living vicariously through others. Shit, I should really see a therapist. Thanks for everything Mom. Was it worth it?

Several months ago I was in the grocery store. For reasons I still don’t understand, I struck up a conversation with this silver haired old woman. Her name is Bonnie. She has to be one of the nicest people that I have met recently. We really didn’t talk about much of anything important. It was just small talk bullshit kind of stuff. I was just impressed on how she carried herself and how genuinely kind and happy she was. Fast forward to yesterday. I’m in the grocery store, and who should I see? There was Bonnie. She smile at me said “hello Jake”, and gave me a hug. Christ, she remembered my name! It made me smile. Thank you Bonnie I really needed that.

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