Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Shark Week

As you might Imagine Bucky and Gordo have much different taste in television shows than I do. They tend to watch shows containing war, race cars, and asshole right wing news broadcasters. Last night at the firehouse I found myself watching a "Shark Week" show on the Discovery Channel with said half witted co-workers. Now on this program the apparently intelligent shark gurus were trying to figure out how to make sharks attack them. I know! Stick with me on this. They were doing this by getting in the water and doing shit to entice the sharks to attack. Things like wave a dead fish on a spear, pretend to be a seal, and float around on a surfboard and splash. Yeah, these are the experts! I was dumbfounded as to why the fuck these nimrods were doing this. You don't see bomb squad guys doing shit to see what it takes to blow there hand off do you? I assume in any case there is a logical sequence of events that would lead someone to form a reasonable idea as to what causes bad shit to happen. You don't need to prove to me that sharks like a bloody leg and that an M80 will blow your nuts off! Then it got really strange. At the end of a commercial break as the show was about to start, a voice said the following.

"These are highly trained professionals do not attempt this at home."

WTF? Is it a nation wide epidemic that folks are keeping great white sharks in there back yard? Look numbnuts If sharks are knocking on my front door like some 1970's Saturday Night Live re-run then I have bigger things to worry about.


Like maybe the fact that the Pacific Ocean moved a mile and a half inland. The only thing that I learned by watching that show is that either the folks at the Discovery Channel are idiots, or that they think we are. Then I looked over and saw the wonder twins totally captivated with there mouths hanging open. You could have walked over and kicked them in the head and they would have been oblivious. Maybe I shouldn't second guess the marketing guys at the network after all.

7 Beer Farts:

Marvin the Martian said...

Yeah, those shark shows are a hoot. I keep waiting for someone to actually get eaten, but they rarely do. So I quit watching. Unless someone's actually suffering from their own stupidity, it can't hold my attention. ;P

Chardsy said...

I don't know why I watch them, maybe I am a glutton for punishment, but I do. I can't watch the ones that out right ridiculous though. Those "experts" wanting to get eaten can suck it.

I am very eloquent.

The Bizza said...

I agree, the guys provoking the sharks seem to have serious thrill issues, but...

Dude! Seriously? Did you NOT see footage of those sharks leaping from the water to catch an unsuspecting seal?

Flying fucking sharks, dude. Flying fucking sharks.

I don't even have anything else to add...

jenji said...

(knock knock knock)

Yes?

--Candygram.

What?

--Candygram.

jenji

The UnMighty said...

I'm sorry no one was killed by sharks. I'm sorry about your burned legs. But I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your bike.

Get well soon.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I love that land shark bit . . .

I don't understand those dumb asses who swim around with sharks. That's so stupid. When my girlfriend's cat is feeling bitey, I don't go near the little fucker, and that doesn't even hurt. I just don't dig on being bitten. Call me crazy . . .

Jake Titus said...

Marvin: You must like Nascar crashes as well.

Chardsy: "Suck it" well put.

Bizza: "Flying Sharks"!!! How do they get through the security checkpoint?

Jenji: Pizza Guy. . . It's just the Pizza guy sir.

Unmighty: Yeah it sucked. Thanks for the understanding.

Dr. K: Biting ranks low on my list of "fun shit" as well.