Thursday, August 21, 2008

Well Hello There!!!

O.K. three weeks is enough, I know! These last few weeks truly have me stumped. One would think that with everything going on in the world that I could muster some inspiration to write. Not so! I have wanted to write about a ton of subjects but have been unable to piece more than two words together. "Fuck It" is the extent of my creativity. So let me throw out some random shit and see where it takes me.

  1. I saw Lewis Black in concert. He said "Fuck" or one of its many off shoots, 257 times. It was fucking brilliant.

  2. Women's beach volleyball is my new favorite sport. Well, at least until football season starts. (I haven't totally lost my mind.)

  3. When did Ping Pong and Badminton become sports and Baseball and Softball not? Have the Olympic Muckity Mucks lost there fucking minds?

  4. Horse doping in the Olympics??? What's next, a corked balance beam scandal?

  5. When you tell a cab driver the address that you need to get to, they should never say "I am not knowing where dat iz!" Look, there's a thing called GPS, buy one!

  6. How did McCain score a milf with such bad teeth?

  7. My brother is still a dick.

  8. This is the most honest obituary. . . . . . . ever!

My neck hurts, I'll see you all tomorrow.

Jake

8 Beer Farts:

Marvin the Martian said...

#3 - I about fell over when I saw "women's handball," which looks like a cross between basketball and soccer (played with the hands). Very odd. Where the hell did THAT sport come from? And I agree, badminton is not an Olympic sport. What's next, Olympic skydiving? (I'd watch that one, for the inevitable accidents.)

#8 - I love that. I'm going to copy it and use it for my own mother.

poobomber said...

Hahah, that obituary reminded me that there's people out there that suck more than I do.

Jeff said...

So you're saying you like to watch women with killer bodies who wear tiny bikinis while they jump up and down and bend over a lot?

You're a sick sick man Jake.

Corrina said...

Wow. I guess that's what happens when bitches die.

Doug said...

Hold on. You were counting the fucks while simultaneously enjoying the show? Apparently you can multi-task better than I can.

I can tolerate badminton and (I believe they prefer) table tennis. And frankly, I don't think sports with pro leagues (baseball, basketball) should be in the Olympics; they get plenty of exposure otherwise. And it makes the U.S. look stupid when we don't win the team sports we invented. What makes me lose it is that fucking BMX got in.

They have the X Games and should be happy with that.

Call me an old curmudgeon. I have no problem with that.

jenji said...

Okay, so as I was a state ranked badminton player, i will have to argue that it is indeed a challenging sport. I say this as a competitive soccer and volleyball player as well.

Now BMX riding, eh...I only say that b/c it has been included as a new sport. I mean, do we need new sports in the Olympics? Leave it for the XGames. And why are we axing the old? I mean, can't we just stay traditional and resist the urge to upgrade in at least one area of life?

PS I found it so amusing how the 70's flashbacks of men's swimming had the guys hairy as hell. If only they knew then what we know now about drag.

Btw, I like the word fuck. A lot.

Obituary: scathing. Where does one find an obituary of that strain, jake?

glad to see you're back.
jenji

The [Cherry] Ride said...

And can we talk about Synchronized Diving? And how much time NBC primetime devoted to it? Total bullshit.

And I love Lewis Black - he drops the F-bomb as much as I do.

The Middle Lifer said...

You must be my long lost illegitimate brother from another life, we have way too much in common. And yes, our mother is about the same as the broad in the obit.